Disappointing Nietzsche

May 12, 1998

Making a right turn on red
I forgot to glance
I lost my head
I was in a trance

And so in the snow demented
Another car I dented
Said I, "It was my fault"
Then lamely tried to blame the salt

And all I got was a puzzled look
From the small brown man
Then thought he could be took
Without ever knowing of my plan

And when he asked "What do we do?"
It seemed too easy to be quite true
He said, "Explain me, I am new here"
And with those words was vanished all my fear

Ah, yes, beyond good and evil was I
A superman in drag flying high into the sky
Said he, "Please explain me, I am just a priest"
And I smiled with devilish glee at my impending feast

"Sorry," I said, "It was really all my fault
For I should have known but to quickly halt"
"Don’t worry," he said, then "Are you Catholic?"
"Of course," I said, playing the religious schtick

Said I, "So listen here, Father, and here is what we will do —
You will give me your name and I will give mine to you"
"Oh, that is fine," said he: "My name is Father Zacharias
And yours?" he asked, not knowing I was nefarious

But at the height of my will to power
Over the man’s face came a look so dour
It stopped me in my tracks, and
Found that place where power slacks

So in a situation quite precarious
And against my character so vainglorious
Suddenly I became honest and gregarious
Sick with goodness I became malarious

And though Nietzsche might think it hilarious
Believe me when I tell you, now — I’m serious
I gave my real name to Father Zacharias

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